It’s crazy how much you can think that you know or believe something about yourself until you go through something, meet someone, or experience different things and they turn your thoughts/opinions (life, even) upside down.
The original soundtrack to my 20 years of life went a little something like this:
- “I’m working on me.”
- “I need to get myself together before focusing on boys.”
- “Books before boys.”
(Executive Producers: Dad, Mom, Gram)
I was always focused on the next step, the next goal, the next big thing in my life:
– college ✅ – license ✅ – getting into graduate school ✅
Always focused on building my own brand that I thought there was no time for anything else until it was built.
I never understood how people could willingly want to share their struggle with a significant other. I was always under the impression that any guy I met would be struggling just as much as I was —- and what was appealing about struggling together? 😐 I could not wrap my head around it.
However, in my reflections of the struggles that I have overcome, I noticed that my friends were always there. I was always able to grow and struggle with them. So I had to ponder on what would be different in struggling with the person that is destined for me?
With experience and age comes growth, which caused me to see just how much I’ve changed. There’s this tiny part of me that now craves that “anything else” I neglected. I now crave a special kind of something that I can’t get from my family/friends. I crave a level of intimacy and vulnerability that the “togetherness” in me cannot wait for.
I realize now that I will NEVER be as “together” as I want to be. I realize that my struggle is a part of the journey to where I want to be. A wise man once said, “there’s beauty in the struggle!” The struggle builds character and shows you who is really down for you. The struggle is necessary.
Look at couples like the Obamas, or Cory and Tia Mowry-Hardrict. They are real life (and BLACK) representations of staying down until you come up. These women stuck by through their mans’ hard parts of life, and have men that would go to the moon and back for them and look at where they are now!! They grew together and now we can all bask in their glow ✨
(And ladies, that is NOT to say that you should dim your light to be with a man or wait for him to find potential!! I’m saying that it is okay to stick by a man with a plan while executing your own plan!)
As for me, I’m cooling. Still building my brand, but not being afraid to let someone in to build with me. I am no longer afraid of the possibility that I can build with someone while I’m trying to figure my life out. I am actually looking forward to it.
Feel free to leave a comment & let me know your thoughts ❤