I always looked at other girls and the relationships that they had with their mothers and wondered why ours wasn’t like that. I looked at my friends who would brag and boast about their relationships and bonds with their moms and always think
“Why can’t I have this with my mother? Why aren’t we this cool?”
These girls could talk to their mothers daily and about any and all of their problems. They would talk about feelings, and love, and boys even…and I always thought that it was something that we both were doing wrong. I always wondered what it was that made it that we would argue almost daily and why I would almost always have an attitude with you.
I thought that there was something wrong with our relationship. I thought we would be the mother/daughter pair that grew to never speak because we butted heads so much.
I spent so much time focused on everyone else’s relationships without actually taking time to think ours through. When I finally did that, I realized there were things that I had glanced over that defined our relationship- the fact that I slept in your bed more than I did my own up until around the 6th grade, the fact that I followed you everywhere you were going at all times, and the fact that our attitudes are exactly alike (the main reason we ALWAYS butted heads). By looking at everyone else’s relationships, I didn’t realize that we had our own little thing going. Our own little thing that defined us.
Mom, things haven’t always been perfect. There were great times, there were horrible times, and there were times that I wish we didn’t have to go through. But I understand now. I’m older and can understand why things had to go those ways. Those times taught me to be strong, resilient, fearless, independent, understanding, loving, and everything else that I am. Those times taught me to be the dedicated and hard-working young lady that I am today.
We have a bond that only we can understand. Other people look in and wonder how I can be the way I am with you. But it’s because this is how you raised me. With just enough leeway to venture out into the world, but always knowing you were a call/FaceTime/text away to come get me if I needed you whenever or wherever. With just enough punishment that I knew right from wrong, but never keeping me from enjoying life. With just enough you, that I understand what it means to be me.
Thank you for everything: the good, the bad, and the ugly. ❤
-“Spoiled Princess” J.